I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
