i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
