Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
