He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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