He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
