the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
