Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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