im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
