i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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