a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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