i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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