just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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