Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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