Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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