the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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