i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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