She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
