Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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