I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
