I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
