I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
