i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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