I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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