i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
