Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
tell me about the eggs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
