Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
