People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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