why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
