Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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