Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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