3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
