The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
