I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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