Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
