Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
