You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
