Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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