it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
