Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?