my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."