help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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