in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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