we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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