So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize