I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize