Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
