you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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