then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
