Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize