it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
