I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
