Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Randomize
