Don't make out with my wife yet
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
