Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
