My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize