but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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