Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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