we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just invented taco cereal.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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