shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
