My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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