The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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