i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
