so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
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You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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