barbara walters just said penis...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do