Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
third nipple confirmed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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