Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
